I HaVe SeeN tHe WorSt @@

Dabong 2

2006-05-31T10:36:00.000-07:00

aah some days later when i got the mood bah..
Working really tires me out.
got to sleep nity nity

Attachment woe

2006-05-31T10:14:00.000-07:00

2 more weeks to the end of my IA.
Maybe thats wad i am looking forward to.
Time to get into training again to slim down.
Planning the things to do during the free time until school restart.
22weeks past by in a flash.
Parents are planning a oversea trip.
Australia? Tibet? China?
Actually a cheap trip to Msia mountain is good enough for me.
To choose a hammock in the mountain over a hotel even if living in a 5 star hotel, i think i am quite crazy.
Learning to live a life without desire without craving without expectation .
The way of a Buddha ...
Its like wasting my life...
Buddha way of life can be quite contradicting to modern way of life.
I dont wan to depend on anyone on anyway for anything for now.
I can handle things alone just as well.
I hope so ...

26 of may

2006-05-25T09:32:00.000-07:00

Routine life. Its really boring to do the same thing everyday.
Thats what life in 21st century is about i think. Era of working till you drop.
One more year to graduate from NTU.
If IA is to experience working life in which i am going to experience in the coming working life.
I don't like it.
When young, I was being brain wash that we have to work hard and do big in life to have a happy life.
Do big = Make money = Happy
Maybe playing too much is a sin in this world now.
Some times thinking about the future is about sacrifying play time and to work hard.
So how many people really satisfy about their future and sit down to enjoy life.
Worry is a waste of time and energy.
No point worry what you know is coming.
just ranting . Just very tired of working during this period of time.

Been think of what Uncle Tom said.
Life isnt about earning all the money u can.
kind of contradict what my father always said to me
Earn as much as you can when you are still young
then you can enjoy life in retirement.

Bah~

ONE LIFE TIME TO LIVE, LIVE LIFE TO THE MAX

2006-05-20T23:49:00.000-07:00

Friday Devils Bar
Meeting New People is kind of hard for me ... Should learn to crapz with strangers.
Chiong - Alchohol = Boring ... Drove there anyway its free entrance to Devils
Like to chiong with people I know ...
Hugs are a bonus never to be asked for.
I was greeted by a hug by my god sister then a buaya ask for a hug too.
She then hug him with a sian look ... haha for fuck? haha
Asked for a hug once in my life before from A and never will i ask again.
So stupid ...

Sat Wake Board
Promise to teach friends to PowerSlide at 930am... so early -_-
I woke up at 8am only to be greeted by a series of people that i jio blading smsing me saying that say they dun wan to go blade...
mai sua ! i got back up plan liao anyway i was worried they will go also "P
So i put that friend aeroplane and went back to sleep ...
12nn
I drove to fetch Godsis from Lor Ah Su (singapore got many stupid street name... )Then we went to Ponggol for wake board. Lost as usual.. Take some time to reach destination -_-
Not very enthusiastic to learn wake boarding. Its too expensive.
But dun mind if people jio me to go ... Fun > Money
Learning to stand so far ... CMI ... Still cant do anything ..
Once I can do tricks it will be so cool. Yeah Dude!
Its the sea, the wind blowing at me that i like.
Sitting on the boat speeding at high speed with the radio blasting Jay Chou song. Ahhh... This is life. 12345678 我叫你爸，你打我妈。。。
Anyway its waiting most of the time before my turn to wake board may as well enjoy the moment of waiting.
Thing i want to do : Scuba Diving !!!
Thing I must do : SLIM DOWN...

Wise word from Justin (ang gong siao our wake boarding coach):
Want to be my friend welcome!
If Not, Fuck OFF!!! *he is drunk chivas bottle x2

The ah bengs and ang gong siao are being condamned by sociality in singapore.
But to me they are people who are not corrupted by this sociality.
They are just doing things they like and dun give a fuck what people think.
People just condamn people different from them.
So people without Ang gong won't commit crime? Fucking think about it.
Although i used to be scared of them.

Sun Soccer
Thought i can sleep until song but to be woke up by tazy call..
" Soccer le. You ask me for soccer then u dun come!!!"
Wah lao ... i needed exercise anyway...
Wonder when my leg is going to heal...
I love my life... No more sad pathetic Bryan yearning for some one attention.
Fuck it! I only got one life to live, live it for yourself.

Squirrel's sick

2006-05-17T08:06:00.000-07:00

Squirrel acting really strange lately...
Smsed and msn him, but answer is not more than one word.
sick, no , no goin hmm ok 2 words at most.
What happened to him? sigh ...
Happiness can be spread around and so is sadness
hmmm went to have curry fish head with weying eve and 2 people i dunno one.
Dun feel like talking much.
Really hope he can just tell me his problem so i can help him.
Or issit me?
better dun assume too much... Assumption never led to the real answers
Only make matter worse.
Guess the only thing i can do is leave him alone for a while bah.
Ah.... i should screw him one day for making me feel so bad haha.
O well some other day bah.. After he is feeling better bah.
DAmnz SOMEONE PLS TELL ME WAD TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!

STONG (Msia DaBong)

2006-05-17T07:58:00.000-07:00

STONG DAY 1
Last minute rush to go to the place where I love. The mountains
It was a casual and boring day in office near lunch time when an unexpected call rang.
3 Slots to Stong you want to go .
WAN!!! But I need to ask the my supervisor first.
Have to siam!!
Me: Sir.. erm I need to go back school to meet my tutor about my FYP. So I would like to take the half day off. It is ok with you?
Supervisor: Ok. Sure. Make sure you tell this to MK (the stupid frag)
Me: Thank you sir. Sure I will tell him about this this instance
Me: MK I am taking half day off to go back school for my FYP. I have asked Sup about it already. So is there any thing for me before I leave?
MK: Oh if he approved liao then u go bah. (of course la I am just telling you lor)
Called David discuss the plan with him about buying the train tickets and many other things.
Dun you just like last minute plan. Skipped the boring part of waiting for the day to come?
So 1pm I left after lunch with the staff then is packing time! Lotsa thing to bring.
We met at 6pm and rush to get my tickets.
NO MORE TICKETS TO DABONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH NO WTF HOW DAMNZ DIE SIAO LIAO
Me: sigh bo pianz lor at most I go back Singapore lor ( I am in JB liao btw)
Trekking group: huh u sure? Really no more ticket ar. ( bluff u got money)
* with all the commotion going on an old man came to us *
Ah pek: No train tickets huh
Me: ya … blab blab blab….
Ah pek: Go buy a 50ct ticket to go in then board the train. At most summon 10Rm to the conductor lor (summon plus the tickets = 38 RM)
The rest stared at the ah pek. Hmmm sound illegal
Ah pek: that’s what we all do if there is no ticket what.
Go? Must hiong
Dun Go? At home L2 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Ok. I shall try
This is how I end up in Dabong 12 hrs of train ride.
Cool huh a bit like Amazing race..
STONG DAY 2
Reached there, I see chickens cow monkeys. Its exactly like kampong.
Cool.
First program is Cave sighting.
Beware of leeches = buy medicated oil
Dark in the Cave = buy torch light and batteries
Ok ready to load up van and off we go to the Caves.
Nothing much also. Just see what I expected to see in a cave lor.
Next destination Stong! That’s the main dish. I just cant wait to go to the cool comfortable summit away from Singapore hectic and hot environment.
Turn out the base camp is around 500m or more only… not even cooling.
But the water fall is very shiok.
The other attraction that I am here for. Waterfalls!
Once reached there we pitch up our tents and chop chop its water fall time.
Its just a 2 hr walk up to the campsite only so not very siong also.
It is damn shiok to soak ur tired body in the cooling yellowish water.
Trembling in coldness under the roaring of the water fall its just heaven.
The waterfall is like a Big giant slab of rock with never ending flow of water flowing down.
With the help of our trekking guide (he is amazing, hes feet seem to have suckage tube on it, he climb the steep rock on 2 legs !!) we climbed up to about 3 storey high of the waterfall and SLIDE DOWN to the water beneath. FUN!
Due to the inability to climb up the rock ourselves, I tried only twice only.
The highest I can get is only 2 steps on the rock and I will be back into the water.
After awhile I went back to set up my hammock’s shelter before the sky turn dark.
Another reason why I came here. To sleep in the open in the rain on my hammock.
It’s going to rain Oh no!!! Me: YAY!!!
Soon it night fall liao.
... to be continued...

Another Day At Work ~

2006-02-23T04:07:00.000-08:00

23 feb:

Woke up feeling fresh this morning. My stupid logic is quite true.
Everyone got a clock in the body as what time to sleep and what time to wake up
I tried sleeping at 12 midnite and wake up 7 30am nxt morning feeling damn tired and sleepy
But when i chose to sleep at 2 am, my normal sleeping time and wake up at 7 30 am
i was refresh and ready to go. Stupid nonsense i thought of. It work for me and thats
all i care. Go ahead and disagree with me LOSER!!! haha~

I will hate myself if i am the reader.

Driving pass Nanyang Polytechnic, saw some slackers walking and chatting during PE lesson when they are suppose to be jogging.i think they are from a neighbourhood secondary school. Its good to be with friend. It wont be of much fun to slack alone. Tips from expert. Missed my PE lesson during school days ...
Its not the activity that i missed, its the ways and method trying to siam and slack in PE with friends.

Its more fun haha

Remembering the slacking days in secondary uniform group St john Ambulance. Learnt nothing there… sigh if there is a cure for heart broken… I need a heart transplant.

Hee finally my sup ask for professional help from the IT sector for his old useless broken down piece of shit computer. Listening to them the IT personnel is fascinating. They never say they dunno. They always use excuses like -- IT person say " erm normally i let Andy handle this problem u go and ask him cause he is incharge of *a particular thing* " Deflected the arrow cleanly to poor Andy just like that..

Expert@@.

Lunch time: Prefered to sleep in office but today forgotten my lunch box sigh so go canteen eat with the ia_student. Nothing to talk to them. Or i just cant be bothered. After finishing lunch, I stone for a while before i walk off to have a break at the roof top. Saw my sup , nichole and carolyn. Actually it is Carolyn that came to me before i know they were there. She came to smoke with me and we chatted for a while.
So shes a smoker too. Now i got kakis liao hmmm good? i was intending to quit haha. then nichole came and join us. My sup dun like me haha thats how i felt .. At least i feel more comfortable with them than the ia students. IA students got the tendency to praise each other for the thing they do and calling each other GOD .... They can actually laugh at their own joke.. I am getting more and more anti social.
Ever felt that u cant click with the group of people u be with. What will u do?
Be like them? wah i am the microsoft word god ... lamz haha i cant do it. Believe me one of them really said that... Actually University intellectual is really not that high... Standards have dropped hahaa. Some times i felt that i can talk more sense with a school drop out ...
I think i prefer the marist style of friends. The suaning people. Being too easy or polite to such people u will bore them hahaa.

Office computer is unbelieveable. When installing the ms office the file are suppose to run so fast that i cant even see the file name. Over here i got the time to actually memorise it... ...Thats how fast my computer is....

My sup Dun like me.

He lost the work I had finished … actually its me .. send him my assignment long ago liao before I reformatted my computer in the office. But I think the email didn’t get thru to him … All are lost.

Have to do it all over again. He was laughing in his girlish laughter

" haha dun blame me huh u didn’t send it to me properly hahaah~~~"

damn eunuch.

*Flash back*
Chicken in China General uniform coming down from his horse to receive the emperor order from the damn eunuch. " You have attack the wrong place go to the place where u r suppose to fight to fight again! Dun blame me muahahhaa ~~ => * Note :Very important … must be girlish laughter* "

NOOOOOOoooOOOooo~~~~

Quite lame I know but the picture of the chicken on horse is quite cool heez… Hey its my blog I say anything I wan. If he is to read my blog I think I am going to fail my IA liao…

Anyway, he left the office early today again.

So no drive in me to do some thing I had done before soooo blog for a while la. No harm done.
Blogging is so damn fun when it comes to killing time. 5 30 lor time to pack up and go home lor haha

Wow used up more than an hour just to copy

and paste my blog from MS word to the blog and plus a little bit of editing.

Enjoy it a lot heee...

Have been doing blog in Words

Cant be helped since my computer is down most of the time

Anyway if u had read my blog

It a miracle that i am able to blog again haha

My blog still lack of some pics..

soon bah ~ need time... whats the hurry

PLUS need some music.

Hope squirrel will help me abit

Long UnTold Secrets Of The Lee Family

2006-02-23T03:56:00.000-08:00

22 feb:

Did some editing to my previous blog.
Thats all.
Nothing interesting happened so far.
Harlooow working in office.
cant think of anything interesting will happened here.

My sup is a weird guy who laugh like a girl.
I crack joke he dun laugh *Ok i know i am lame at times*
But when he need my help he seem to keep laughing...
Maybe he think the work given to me is a joke.
Whats more ... funnier than my jokes.
Other than these he is quite normal haha.

Some thing about joke :
You know its polite to listen attentively to some one when they are telling a joke
Show that they are appreciated and that u are really interested at his/her joke.
So i lean more towards the person and look at the person attentively and sincerely.
But after the joke, You found out its not funny at all.
My face start to twitch like struggling to try to laugh,
There is a moment of hesitation.
Dunno to laugh loudly or just a normal laugh.
I am in a dilema.Opened my mouth a bit trying hard not to show that i am faking
The worst part, I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY AFTER THAT!!
So i said the biggest lie and true at the same time.
"HAHAHA U ARE KILLING ME!!! BOSS" * stop killing me with ur lame joke, But u'r the boss*
Normally i dun laugh if its not funny.

* Special situation.* -_-
(Real life encounter)

Im a jinx to all computer... My office computer is also having problems Whats worst!! My sup's computer is also blacking out for no logical reasons. What can i say... A jinx but at the same time a specialist in computer. My life is a joke. GOD I AM NOT LAUGHING!!!!!!

MAde a call to brandon for the diving course. $419 O well, Eating my home made sandwich in my office for lunch. Got to make some small sacrifices if u wan to have fun in singapore. Without money, U can only stare at the wall at home and ask yourself why is my life so boring hahaa.
Ok having fun is my top priority now. She said she wanted to come along... O well. Why go think of unnecessary small things. I wanted to dive for many years now its the time. No one to go with me thought except her. Anyway this year is going to be a fun one i promised. I will have more to write about if all these crap are not enough. Mountain trip and diving trip. OuCH My wallet is hurting.
Ooooo diving!! cant wait.

* chicken in suba diving suit hmmm cool*

Im a rich kid with a poor parents haha. Feel so bad. I am never going to do enough to repay them.
I am so indebt to them that i am willing to even lay my life down for them. My mom told me some untold secret to me about myself. It happened around 16 years ago. When my mother is giving birth to my brother now who is of course 16 years old now.

My mother will not be at home to take care of me and my sister . So that duty rested on my father's shoulder. I didnt remember a single thing that happened that day. I was only 8 years old. I think i was damn happy that not because mother was giving birth to my younger brother but because my mother is not home.. HAHA kids~ So i watched TV fooled around and didnt do my home work. My father never been in that situation before, didnt know what to do. So he Scolded me and i think ordered me to do my home work. I think cane must be involved. I'm not the kind of kid to be instructed with sweet talks hahaa
While doing my home work, my father spotted some thing written on my home work by me. Go to die papa in chinese. WOW ... I know that till now. That must have broken his fatherly heart. My mother say he gave up on me. Hmmm that explain the big feast of ice cream in swensen after that. haha. Funny how i can forget every grudge and only remember about the food. Some times grown up should learn from the kids to forget about grudget and unhappy incidents and remember all the nice and sweet memories. Only in this way we will find life happier. Can tell i am not a very bright kid then, to be spotted to write such things. I could end up with quite serious injury hahaa. Never knew i had such close encounter with death since 8 years old phew.

But still i want to tell u this dad , I am sorry for what i have done 16 YEARS ago when i was 8 YEARS OLD for writting such childish things which i know i never mean it.

But u should have promise me to buy me ice cream if i finish my home work. I think i will do anything for food especially ice cream. haha~

Computer finally revive this very night without me doing any thing to it. For the pass few days i have been trying to fix it using all ways i could think of. Taking out parts, reformat, this and that but the stupid dumb computer just wont work. I gave up on it, asking my brother to bring it to sim lim to see if they can fix it.
Until tonight... ...i just switch it on and hope miracle will happen with no other apparant reason. the Window flash out half expecting it to go into stop error again, it loaded successfully into the window. WOW @@ every thing is there. !!! MSN the first time that come to my mind.

* Some times things dun work out in life no matter how hard u try to fix it. *
* You cant think of a logical reasons why things will turn out like that *
* You desperately tried to find ways to make things back to what it was *
* Only to find disappointment and despair. *plus much frustration *
* So u give up in the end and let fate decide for u *
* Not to expect any thing to happen *
* You make a last gamble to try for one last time *
* Then you realised that it is always there all the while *

*Note : This apply only to my computer, for other matter it just wont work
The moral of this incident is, relax and go with the flow
Things will turn out for the better if things cant get any worst
Some times thing just cant be helped.

* WARNING: These words are all my point of view in life
U can take it or leave it.
If ur life is screw up by these innocent words of mine
Or you may not agree with me
It damn bloody none of my business
Some times I just think these are all lies haha~

PS: I still dun understand what actually happened to my computer????

When Inspiration Strike ~ haha

2006-02-23T03:49:00.000-08:00

21 of feb:

Lost track of time today. Got a feeling its monday today. Its still as blue.
Nothing to look forward to. Life is like a rollar coaster.

I was high up in the highest peak of the track only last year june.

Having fun, enjoying life. But now i am at my lowest peak.

Nice things always fad away before u know it.

Even if u grasps it tight in ur palm, it seemed to melt and vanished into the thin air.

During tea time, dropped my yakult on the ground.

Didnt expect it to bounce up and splash yakult all over the place.

Ganna a manager's shirt. Little thing only also wanna ke gao with me.

He stared at me. what can i do? its an accident right.

GAve him a cheeky smile saluting to him and look else where.

~ Act Blur ~
IA_ students are such low life in other companies.
4 11pm my sup left the place again. Dun feel like doing anything when hes not around.

Today i have been reading VB book the whole day. ITs really boring. i gave her an sms and regretted later. Only to send a apologise sms to her again some time later.
this is crap man. Cant do anything right. Feel so stupid.

*ping*
There is no right or wrong in this wacky world. If u got the power then u are right
There is no good or bad in this world too. Its all prospective view of individual fools
There is no yes or no in this world as well. People may say yes and mean no at the same time .
There is no friend and foe in this world too. Whoever say friends wont harm u and foe wont help u.
There is no love in this world. If Love is so hurting i rather have no love.

I never intend to start what i have started out.,
KNowing how the story will end right from the start through out,
My Dear Friends say i will never know if i never try it out,
Saying that what do I have to lose to try ask her out,
So why not give it a try and check it out,
And so with all these false hope i go all out.

Now I regretted badly right from the start to the end.
I shouldnt have in the first place listen to my dear O friend
Now I am right back to the start never to see the end.
And let me tell u what do i have to lose for trying in the end,
I have lost everything nice in this world since then.
So dun ever say i got nothing to lose again.
Cause my heart is dead because of trying in the end.

Now all of u feel sorry for me,
For what u all have thought is good for me.
And what i know wont work out for me.
If this is the help u all offered me,
Pushing false Hope right into me
Then please do a little small favour for me.
Dun ever again try to Help.

I always tell myself i never regretted loving you
and I wanted myself to believe that this is true
But every night whenever i think of you,
I know deep inside that it is not true,
The hurt is true,
because my love is true.
How i wish i have never know you,
Then I will never know my feeling for u is true,
and maybe then i will forget about you.

Maybe time will wash away my woe,
And hope every passing day will slowly heal my wound,
I will slowly walk away from you
So things will be easier for you,
But there is some thing i really hope to tell you
and that is i will always love u....

So this is my Life
Always living in a lie,
Never bother to ask why,
Until the day i die.

Maybe i should write these words and put the note on the table
then put my slippers at the window sill haha.
Look like a suicide case haha~.

Some thing i thought of out of boredom.
Did really help me kill time in the office.
I am not so free actually but some how the inspiration strike me
It may not be very good. Or not even rythem.
But let me tell u some thing
Why do i care what u think of it muahahahaaha~
~idiot~

In the night, It turn out she didnt received my first sms
BUT~ she received my second one.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

She ask me why the weird sms.

Ho3 be4 pa4 sa1 la3 *Hokkien* Wrong number

my working schedule
8 30 am to 9 00am -- Breakfast
9 00 am to 10 00am -- R&R
10 00am to 12 00nn -- Reading
12 00 nn to 1 00pm -- Lunch
1 00pm to 3 00 pm -- work
3 00pm to 4 00pm -- Tea
4 00pm to 6 00 pm -- work

Life isnt so bad what~

Friendship

2006-02-23T03:41:00.000-08:00

So what if i know,
and so what if i dunno.
So what if i believe,
and so what if i dun believe.
Does it really matter?
If u choose to lie to me
I know u got ur reasons
So i will always believe u right to the end
Just because u r my friend

That’s what friends are for.

A Chicken Life

2006-02-23T03:39:00.000-08:00

20th feb:

Borrowed a thumbdrive from a friend. Inside i found some songz by JJ. Being a fan of JJ, I open the folder and see what song is saved within. Among all i like 2 of them. Now that shes gone and ni yao de bu shi wo. They reminded of her. Today is going to be bluer than ever.

Its already the 6th week already. Friends in Ntu is now having their recess. So shiok. Some how its quite bothering. Why am i doing here! 5 weeks of work some how i have already adapt to the office life. Waking up early, doing nothing in office, Feeling blue on every monday,planning my week ends, trying hard to keep slim.
Looking forward to climb mt stong, but turn out squirrel decide to move on to another forest. Quite in a dilema. Will I lose those climbing kakis? Nooo but... *heave a sigh. Love really suks. i lost interest in salsa now i going to lose my mountain trekking kakis. Sorry squirrel. I think i will still go. I know u will understand, Like how i understand why u decide not to go. Sorry for being so selfish for asking u to go althought i know the reasons. U shld move on. Hope u found a better tree to climb although i know u have already found the best in ur heart. But if the tree happened to fall even if u hope to live in that tree u have to find another tree. Hope u find a sturdy tree to shelter u from rain and shine and to last u a life time.

As for the story for chicken, it cant climb tree, cant fly, cant run fast, cant swim, cant hide with its bright orange feather and not so smart to fool its predator, Most probably happily peck on the ground to find worm, crowing at the first light in the morning happily live its carefree days before meeting the chopping board. u will see it hanging by the throat on a steel hook in the glass case of a chicken rice stall. This is life. Hope it dun ganna bird flu hahaa~ No chicken ever have a good ending I accept it.

I think i will think of an animal for every one i know haha so fun..
EgoMan will be hornBill since he is so horny hahaa. Aiya no one know who u are only u and me hahaa~
hmm i think i still prefer to refer Boss as Boss. Always treat ur boss with respect.

Haha why todays blog so extemely long? Because my sup left me alone here in the cold and lonely cubicle. Kill time. How about another story on the HornBill haha.

Despite the name of this bird, It is a very beautiful bird. With a damn big colourful beak. Be grateful i didnt call u a duck haha.

Thanks for being there whenever i need some one, u r like a pet bird to me. Same goes for all the beast i know haha~ Chicky and friends

I am very contented for knowing all these beast It is them that pull me out of my house to view this world a more colourful place. Ok lets stop here before it gets too mushy haha~

sigh.. Squirrel cancelled tonight movie, saying he is not feeling well.
Excuses. O Well... didnt feel like going for movie anyway.

LonE WoLF

2006-02-23T03:35:00.000-08:00

18 of feb:

Morning was busy fixing my computer. Error code 7. sigh.. i hate computer!!
The thought of working with it for the rest of my life really send chills down my spine.
Everything was alright when suddenly the computer black out cant enter window erm showed a stop error. gone !!! cant even reformat again. WHY!!!! STOP TORMENTING ME!!!
I gave up around 5pm. spent the whole afternoon fixing that lame piece of junk.
Meeting my friend 6 30 pm at Millinia Walk for dinner and soccer match later.

Manchester United vs Liverpool.

i was late due to computer problems at home. When i reached there, I was the earliest. Damn.
Meet my old JC friends. Watch the match at a nearby pub. Manchester was terrible. They are not playing well. Boring match. Liverpool won 1 nil. rushed home after the match fetching jeremy home. Offer to drive josh home but he dun wan. Saved me some diesel. I hate gatherings. Whats the use of gathering if we are really that close and good, meeting every now and then. And if it is a gathering why bring ur boyfriend along .... ... i think i wun go to any more gathering anymore. I shld have gone to my friend house to watch the match. at least beer is served. Tomorrow is Sunday again. sigh ... ...

19 feb: Salsa

Quite fun this time... Who am i kidding! still got 2 more lesson before it ended. sigh ... Its like being at the edge of forgetting her until sunday. If there is some one working up there. STOP TORMENTING ME!!!
Hmmm so i am not really talented in dancing. Be it. Not going to carry on anymore. had enough.
So what if i am such a good dancer, i got no one to dance with. After the lesson, she said she have been very busy lately. In my mind was like SOOOO!!! BIG DEAL!!! Do i look i am very free....

Blading is getting boring and tiring. One of them brought a dog along. Damnz i shld have bring hot dog along . Hotdog is so much fun and more fun and did i mention fun than the little kiki.
*finally learn to do hockey brake*

After dinner at bedok, Fetch wind and squirrel home before going home and continue thinking of her. Monday is always blue start to get lighter until sunday .

I accept it. Its my life.
She is too good to be true. I'm like a wolf howling to the moon.

My NeW Gadget~

2006-02-23T03:32:00.000-08:00

17feb:

After work, i rush down to AMK swimming complex to meet EgoMan to buy a bike together.
I was really excited. But he didnt buy a bike in the end... Thinking of owning a bike for some time liao. I use to cycle around singapore with just a road directory in my bag. Wanted to bagpack cycling in malaysia but cant find kakis. I love roughing out the elements of nature. Cycling down a country side feeling the breeze enjoying the scenery passing by. Anyway i bought a bike avalanche GT. Silver and blue. 24 speed adjustable suspension, aluminium frame with a wireless speedometer. Cost me 550 dollars. There goes my money. Left with only 31 dollars in my bank. Sweet. Now i got a new gadget to show off. Heez.

My Insignificant Thoughts

2006-02-23T03:30:00.000-08:00

We can choose what life we want to live.
Be it tough or easy.
exciting or boring.
happy or sad.
Some times we dont get what we want,
so be it,
This is life.
Just be contented what is given to you.
No matter how insignificant it may appear.

Showing ur sad face and weeping doesnt solve anything.
It only makes people pity u for every little thing.
I dun know about you but i dun need anyone's sympathy.
Because I wont want to be a pathetic sorry Little thing
so if i am really sad and dun feel like saying a single thing
Please come to entertain me and not pity me.

Treating things as a matter of fact way does make accepting things easier.
Dont ponder on the why question. Haha its a bliss to be ignorant.
Its Really not so bad after all ... ...
After all we are only living for around a hundred years.
if u wan to live that long...

Post Valentine Day ~

2006-02-23T03:29:00.000-08:00

15 feb:

The day after valentine day, i went to my cousin house to fix her computer after work. she got 3 daughters san liang 3 jie mei haha. Pretty little girls. One is very talkative and cho lor, one is very girlish and cute, and the smallest look quite boylish but still very pretty but very shy. When the 3 sister combine, IT CHAOS haha the way they play with each others i can laugh until pengz.

When i reached home, its already 10 plus. Back to my game and slept at 2 am.

My GaY ValenTino

2006-02-23T03:26:00.000-08:00

14 feb:

Soon it is Valentine day. Didnt want to stay at home. I ask EgoMan out. Have quite a pleasant talk with him. Hes a good companion to be with. Always joked with my family that hes my gay companion. We talk long hours in the phone some times, talk about everything , share secrets, go out together, have some sexual fantasy conversation (actually its him thats into such thing hahha *snort* Not me...thats why the name are not written here to protect the persons identity) AND~~ we go out together in valentine day. Intend to go changi for dinner, WOW THATS SO GAY!!! Have some Indian food in arab street in the end. Lost my way during the trip as usual.

ITs NoT ThAt bAd aFteR aLL~

2006-02-23T02:55:00.000-08:00

24 days had past by just like that in a flash. Chinese new year seemed like a bad dream to me. With lots of events happening every now and then. Been quite busy lately, or am i busy trying to keep myself busy. Doing industrial attachment have already used up most of my time and energy. So every day is like waking up 7 30 am in the morning, wash up and drive to my working place ST electronics Ltd which is very near to my place. had my breakfast in the company canteen before going to my little cubicle to work. Not much work actually, just some programming stuff in which i got problem starting it. Link budget stuff in programming style. Got to do a drag and drop way to calculate link budget. sigh ... no drive and no mood to do anything lately. life seemed to pass by monotonously.

24 days ... around 4 weeks had past. Skipped 2 salsa lesson. Gave some lame excuses like sprain ankle and not feeling well. but attended 2 lessons. The interest seemed to disappear like a child getting tired with his old toys. * with some special reasons but not really important* So life goes on as per normal.

During the CNY me and my cousins intend to go MOS ministery of sound. but turn out the the whole singapore got the same idea too. The queue is incredible. We intend to go to double O but the bunch of aunties coming with us dun like it. So we went to NewAsia at 70 stories high. Its an eye opener. Really wanted to bring her here one day but sigh.. The place is posh and the view from 70- storeies is gorgeous. From 70 stories high , you can see the whole Boat Quay and I dunno what else I can see also… With all the lights buildings and traffic Just beautiful haha Dun sound really attractive to me. You wan to see flower go park la haha …Buuuuut the crowd is old and multi racial... ... First time i saw a singh in the disco haha. Tempted to take a photo of him. kind of rare to see their kind there heeez.(im not racist its just the fact) Its closes at 1 am. Its still so early so we went to Devils bar instead. erm not really that fun. Its more fun to go with friends than relatives especially not with 30 plus odd aunties , married and hungry for disco. SO the CNY past by just like that. The next day which is a public holiday tuesday, i chose stayed at home to relax. Not feeling like going out or what, since the very next day i will have to start work again.

Still got the holiday mood, nothing is done during this week from CNY to 4th feb. Played some PS2 game to kill time. There are some very fantastic game like prince of persia 1, 2, and 3. But i prefer to play some idiot proof game . RPG game Disgaea: Hour of darkness. Its a cute game with a touch of humour. that last me some time until its finally sunday again for my salsa.

Salsa was terrible. I saw her and didnt know what to say, didnt even dare to look at her. How did things have to evolve until this bad. So i purposely went in late. " Ahh i wanted to skip the warm up" was the excuse i gave. during the lesson didnt dare to ask her to dance with me. Then came the dinasaur (dinasaur mean fat woman *haha so bad* Some call them the great white... Its a sin to be fat in singapore). In my mind was like "Oh my god, What a day ! " We rotate dance mate and when dancing with her, tried to talk to her but she kept quiet.

*Some common knowledge to know about salsa… dancing may not need very slim figure to dance BUT IF U ARE ROUND ENOUGH TO ROLL please consider taking up other hobbies like collect stamp other than dancing hahaha they cant spin well with too much centripetal force. Defy the law of physics. muahaha total in support by squirrel *

Dun worry... i will have my retribution...

Since i missed 2 lessons i didnt know most of the steps. Felt like the lesson is never going to end. look at the clock a number of time. finally it time to go. I grabbed my pouch and left without looking back. Went to the toilet directly change to my blading attire and left with Squirrel to ECP to blade. *If only i can find a dancing squirrel flash. it will be interesting haha I can find dancing chicken .. hee* Wind came with us ,did instant noodle go too? Hmmm my memory is falling apart. yup she came along. We blade in a snail slow pace around ECP. Meet wind's friend. *name forgotten doubt i will see him again anyway that poor guy got a short tongue got some problem understanding him* Did some old tricks but a bit faster and more recklessly.BAM~ i fell badly. Tried again BAM~ i am bleeding. The pain feels good thought. I needed that fall. Being quite numb lately. brain dead . Its nice to feel some pain. Hope to take up boxing so can bash up some one or ganna bash up haha. Hope its not the latter one haha.

Went home with my blood stained clothes. Kind of bloody thought. Quite a deep cut. Father joked that if i didnt know how to blade dun blade so recklessly. I gave him a weak smile then have a bath and went back to my game.

Sunday finally past. The next salsa is not any better too. Every Sunday is a sad day for me.

Oh, went to gym with squirrel and Boss during these period of 4 weeks. Forgotten exactly when it is. They are fun to be with. Squirrel wanted to grow as big as a chicken hmm not possible unless he go mutate himself Squirrelzilla hahaa Dun try the impossible, you will end up disappointed .. After that we went to eat dinner. I had a pig kidney mee . Haha they dun like the sound of it neither does it sound appetizing to them. It delicious. I think i should consider the fear factor since i eat almost anything haha. Had a wonderful time with them before we all parted to go home. One day when all of them got their own career or their soul mate. Will we still be so close. That is something i dread of. But What will happen will happen. I just have to go with the flow. I will accept whatever given to me or taken from me. I live my life no matter what happen. Even if the sky is to fall down today, i think i will just go to my room and sleep and hope everything is alright after i wake up. Why are people getting so stress lately is because people worry too much of the future. hmmm i am not into worry. But the aftermaths is last minute panic haha but i did strive through all of the obstacle until now

So its not so bad after all.

Went to play badmonton with them some day later after the gym. the game of badminton was quite erm ... challenging. We played double. Me and Boss against instant noodle and Squirrel. The desire of Boss to win is so great that we began talking about strategy and methods to win. Its quite funny. I am not a good badminton player sooo its quite hard to please him. You want a chicken to have a reflex of a squirrel … go get a squirrel haha. He was like "guard the back, Go to the front, there there there here here here!!!" So the struggle to win lasted the whole game. He became quite fustrated thought haha. Sorry la, Chicken are not build to play badminton haha. That badminton game was so tedious that my body was aching for the following few days. But pain is good.Hope to have the next badminton session soon. Next time lets try tennis heez

~END~

The Return of the Killer Chicken~

2006-01-21T05:51:00.000-08:00

... ... Doing things you know you should not have done but did it cause u trust ... ...
Once this trust is broken, Hell gate is open. I have not really gone mad for decade, i chose to walk away. That doesnt mean i dont know or i dont mind. Push it further, I will go all out.
So far nothing is confirm. I do not want to speak of it just wanted to venge my anger in words. i hate this feeling. The uncontrollable feeling of anger... Why did i do it in the first place !!!! I hope i wont show it too obvious that i am angry, hope they dont push it further either. If i go mad, you wont like it ... ... ... I believe every one got a devil in them even saint. So never try to lure out the devil in them. Once the devil is out, it will definitely be unpleasant. No one want to be a murderer and no one want to be the victim too. Am I going into too much detail or going mad hahaha~~ Watch out for newspaper in my hand, it might turn out to be a parang hidden in it hahaa~

LaZy BuM

2006-01-20T12:39:00.000-08:00

Steal some blog ideas from friend and i think he knows it what can he do haha ke gao meh~ haha
ohya about my blonde hair ... Its Redish brown since last sunday. Sigh dont want to talk about it.
At least its better than black, look alright, not as bad as i thought as first.

So~~ on thursday she replied. She was sick. Down with a fever. She went to see a doctor and ask me to fetch her after my work but she went home herself as she left her office early. Hmm felt so bad... ... Nothing much on thursday oso. Lots of static electicity in office... cant seem to touch anything in the office without being shock. I am not kidding! A tiak sound could be heard and it hurts. My friend try to pat my shoulder and get shock too. surprising.

Friday, ask her if she feeling better~ oh no i think i am addicted to her ... she said shes better now and thank me for my concern .. sound so formal thought. AAhhh i think i should back off. Start to get irritating. This morning slept in my office i had a funny dream... My cousin Ah Yong Kor drove his van some thing like mine in a multicarpark. He made a very fast turn and the whole van toppled! We rolled 3 times. I actually counted it in my dream .... dreams are so NO LOGIC. Maybe its a warning i should drive more carefully.

Ohya Friday 20th of january, my sister birthday. I went home to change into a more comfy clothing and meet her and my mother and my brother in takashimaya to eat at pariss. Posh place and my sister was being chopped. My mother asked our 2nd auntie and her hubby and smallest auntie oh ya and melissa my cousin. thats freaking 8 people. That dinner cost her 400 Plus! Feel so bad for her. i didnt buy her anything. Then we went to MOS to meet Boss. She ordered a chivas and cost her another 200 bucks not wanting us to be bored. Sigh ... Her hard earn money was flowing like running water. Her heart must be bleeding sigh make me feel even worst. i offered her my entire fortune... a miserable 50 bucks blah thats all i have ok~ Squirrel should have come ... will only cost him the cover charge. I WILL BLAME TT PUNY LITTLE SQUIRREL !! hahaa We went to her friends room in MOS turn out to be a FHM gathering. Boss saw a girl he like. She really have a very angelic look. Boss cant stop staring at her haha. I ask him to go approach her but he hum haha she was one of the contestant in the FHM. The smallest size girl among the contestant. GO buy the freaking FHM and see. Erm i got no freaking right to say this but the rest cannot make it hahahaa. Talk to some scotish in 7eleven and some canadian in the MOS room. Cant get to talk much to them. My ang mo is damn sucky sigh ... I think i only like zouk and MoMo i think only little trusty squirrel know why heeZ.
Ohya a my little wild step sister haze ... tried to ask her to teach me dance ... I cannot make it she twist too much... i look like a buffalo ....but thanx anyway i tried . Not really very fun . But the FHM girl is really beautiful, and my step sister can dance approved by Boss.

Lost Ship In the vast ocean... i can only wait

2006-01-18T07:53:00.000-08:00

Haven been blogging lately. Monday first day of work caught sleeping by sup shit~ She wish me luck for my first day of work in the morning. Squirrel sms me too, but my hp was confiscated by guard in the company due to security so didnt see his msg until after work. Tired and late i didnt reply sorry squirrel and thx.

Tuesday, another boring day. spend a lot of time in the toilet inspecting the swell on my cheek ... sigh .. its disgusting. Finally lunch time came and i rush to the clinic to have the pus taken out. dun think i wan to tok abt the process and details. reached back to the office quite late. My sup dun even know i am missing but i show him the MC and he advise me to go home and rest and so my second day i already do pattern liao ... not good ... thought i pick her home and was rejected. sigh ... another day past.

Wednesday. Reached office and nothing to do. I am so bored that i go to my sup assistance and demand things to do. ANd he offered me more things to read ... ... i again asked her to dinner am i a nuisance .... i am going crazy ... rejected again 2 strikes .

Feeling down i decide to give up and she sms she missed my laughter ... ... So i ask to pick her home tmr. hmmm haven reply.. sleeping bah... just go all out bah. if some thing bad happened at least i know haha dun like this game they play. So if it is strike 3 at least i know i am out of the game. Haha came out with a theory in order to feel less sad is just try to make myself happy in any sort of way i could think of. Anyway some how kind of used to it anyway haha. At least i got my friends. So its not that bad after all. Wanted to be happy by having her if i dun get her just try other ways lor wads so hard hahaa. Hugs hold hands chat go parks go her room movie dinner going out together THEY DUN MEAN A THING PEONS! I end up losing everything after i thougth i have everything haha.

Write my feeling in Blog? One word LOST~

BloNdE Ah Bengz

2006-01-13T11:34:00.000-08:00

Really drunk that @#$ night. But i wont fall haha just do stupid thing and regret the next morning. Wanted to delete the previous post but nah what the heck. Its my blog i set the rulez. So the next morning erm 12 nn woke up. Got to meet in kranji to go malaysia for my daring act. A stunning dye on my head. Took a cab and realised that non of them could wake up too. So went woodland and have out lunch at crystal jade. My sister treating... feel so bad. In the end, we all met in crystal jade and took ff to malaysia after that. Haze, melissa, tracy and ME. Hmmm I didnt talk much. In silent mode. Tummy feeling funny, tired and dun know them well. But we do some lame jokes and tried to laugh. They went shopping upon reaching the shopping center in JB City Square. OMG!! Bo pianz, follow along lor. The starting of 2006 only already set the record of most hour shopping in my life. I dun shop. But ok la better than staying at home, whos complaining. Then we go around ask pricing lor for hair dye. And found HAIR WAVE, all hairstylist London train. Dua Kang!!! But its the cheapest found. We end up there for 4 to 5 hours. Washing cutting bleaching and dying. Very tiring. Neck stiff back ache. Melissa went home herself coz she life jurong. Poor girl but who cares haha so bad. Haze tracy and me went chom chom to eat lor. Ordered quite a lot. Actually is not that much. But me eating with 2 girls ... i ate up most of the food. When we reached home it is already 1 am. Tiring.
Me and my new hair colour.. so happy~ haha a new me a new ah beng a fresh look.

Drunk

2006-01-11T13:57:00.000-08:00

Some times i think i am more sober when i am drunk than when i am sober.
Understand what i mean. Its real feeling and no hesitation than when i am sober when i think too much and too much fear.
maybe thats why i like it when i am drunk. I am more myself. i express my true self and too drunk to be hiding anything than my true feeling.
Some time it too hard to express the real me. I know i will never say some thing when i am sober which is hidden deep within my soul or heart. Some thing maybe best kept within my heart and never be told, but wish to be said but hindered by my fear of rejection. Some times the most romantic lines are best expressed when drunk when u truely express urself than having to think of romantic things to say. right? I can think of the most touching words but unable to express when i am right in front of her. Why! Some times the most silly things are done when drunk but they are the most sincere and truthful. hahaa Its easy said than to be done but i know i will never dare to say the 3 words to her in my sober days. So i may laugh at what i have written here when i am drunk yet dare not say that all these are not true hahaa To protect her care for her to be with her when ever shes lonely and hug her when shes moody. all these are not possible when i am sober.I think i am then the real me when i am drunk. But will she accept the real drunk me? haha i know i am not making any sense but is there sense within these senseless words. Its only sensible when u are thinking of the one u like when u are lonely and tried to hide it from people around. Some times it dont need sense or logic to like some one. U just like them. Thats some thing i will never understand when i am sober or drunk. Secretly i hope she read this but yet scared she found out. Its a mix feeling where there is no real answer. Haha see. I am not making any sense yet there is some sense within. Sheesh love is some thing no one will understand truely. So when i am sober all these feeling will be locked up again deep within me. Ask me when i am sober~ U will never get the real truthful answer. Take it or leave it i just want to remember all these real me in this blog before i go to bed and become sober again the next morning . Heee good night~

PasT 3 dayz

2006-01-10T06:02:00.000-08:00

Sunday! Salsa. dun feel like going at first. Then i tried my luck asking her if i can fetch her to salsa. She agreed. Quite surprise thought, but happy. Stupid right~ happy for what? so i get dressed and went to fetch her early knowing there will be a jam in the expressway from Ang Mo Kio to Toh Guan. Cutting here and there Jam in CTE so change to PIE with even more jams... People complain about economic crisis yet more and more cars appeared in singapore.. Some time i surprise myself for being so well behaved in front of her haha. As usual get lost for a while before we reached chinatown.. She said shes not going to the wedding and maybe we can go have dinner and do something together. A silly grin appeared on my stupified face. AAArgh PEON!!! The dance session is enjoyable. Today msn hazel actually told me she saw me peeping at cheryl.. shit!! issit that obvious... After that we went taka for walk and cine for movie family stone. Nice show. then went chom chom for dinner. Didnt eat much. Not into spicy food.Then i fetch her home. Some times i do ponder at friend's advice am i being too nice. Maybe i shld back off for a while. the next day went for my IA briefing haha i was 45 mins late. Tok cock session thats what everyone said. So went to friend's tut and lunch before i go off. A single sms from a person is enough to ruin his mood for many days. Hope he is better now. Reached home slept for an hour i went to meet my friend to help him drive some stuff to the chalet on his Subaru wrx. Wow it was good. I like the feeling. My first car will surely be a manual car. Imagine driving evo. My first time driving a sport car. Went there we start our drinking session and BBQ. Felt terrible after drunk. Beer and tequila cannot mix. After 2 glass of tequila after beer KO. i was gone most of the time, the first one to drop. The next day ran off home. They going to drink again tonight. They are crazy! Today tuesday after coming back from the chalet, i went online and was happy to see her online. Shes busy so i went to sleep. The weather is so favourable to sleep. Boring day today. Wanted to ask her out tmr but she dun wan. sigh .. nvm i got lots of program coming up. Bowling in the afternoon, clubbing tmr night. Thursday go malaysia. Although i rather spend my time with her but i am still a no one to her. Just play bah. Nothing wrong in having fun lor. Blade only once in this holiday. Hope more blading session to come in the future bah. Maybe ask J to go she seemed interested.

Thoughts ***

2006-01-07T07:31:00.000-08:00

Staring in blanks, i gave it a thought. I knew what to do. Its a tough year ahead but some times i am left with no choice.

FooTBaLL HooLigaNs GSE

2006-01-06T19:58:00.000-08:00

Went to meet my army friend faisal. Yup a malay guy. They are fun people, must learn malay so that i can communicate with them. He got another 3 malay friends with him. They talk about their soccer days during school days. Talked about an old soccer player Neiger Sping from manchester city and a malay comedy haha laughed a lot with them. But i am always uncomfortable with strangers so kept quiet most of the time. I can tell they tried to talk to me so that i dont feel left out. haha bunch of nice people. But they talk malay most of the time. My friend faisal is a handsome gangster wannabe boylish small size malay. He told me his dream is to be a gangster haha he wont last a day i told him. He is our bapo in army aka army prostitude in my camp haha. Every now and then a malay will do a rape scene on him haha. Really fun those days. Still remember a guy tried to rape him on his bed and struggled for more than an hour until both of them are sweaty and tired. i saw them struggling on the bed when i gone to bath and when i come back they are still struggling. Laugh until pengz. I meet him in orchard to go watch football hooligans. Its a nice brutal show which i enjoyed a lot. Some thing i expected from my friend's intro, gangster fight show. Abit like young and dangerous except they carry a very heavy England acsent. Mr Frodo acted in the show. C sms in the middle of the show. Sort of made me happy. Peon got a very fluctuating emotion meter. Can go extreme happy for the minimum thing and go extreme sad for the minimum things too. Stupid~ I really like the company with my ah bangs(brother in malay). Maybe i will take thing slow or even stagnent. Im a slacker who like to do things my own pace and hate troublesome things. Maybe thats why i am a unsignificant corporal in army. Like i say do u think i care! haha being man got hes own fun wad. After the show, i send my ah bang home in woodland and drive home on the wet deserted road. Half wanting my van to skid driving quite fast on the expressway haha some times i am crazy. But being crazy got hes own fun too. Another carefree day .

BoRinG DaYz

2006-01-05T21:06:00.000-08:00

5th of jan. Another boring day, woke up by a friend sms asking for his WC3 CD dammit i lost it. Some times boring day doesnt mean theres nothing to do. Just dont feel like doing them thats all. I need to tidy my room. sigh ... wads wrong with my room? I like it the way it looks. Got to retrieve my levis jean from taka. maybe i just need to have a walk in orchard, but my body is telling me to sleep. Finally i woke up and see a rainny scene outside my window. Should i go back to sleep. Some times i think i dont have enuff time to use, how i wish i can transfer these time now to use. blah~
Mother called to tell me she transfered 400 dollars to my bank and will give me another 200 if i tidy my room. DAmzzz make me feel so bad ... The rain dun seem to stop, my sister got facial in orchard. So may as well give her a lift. Dropped her at her destination and i roamed around orchard for a while before parking at my van and made my way to taka. Retrieve my jeans and wander around abit. with 570 dollars in my bank i wander around trying to shop. Hmp~ nothing interest me. I dun understand how can girls have so big difference in interest as guys. Actually wad i wanted is a soccer boots but too expensive hmmm finally i stopped at the coffee bean. i looked at my hand phone hmmm i have shopped for around half an hour and i thought hours had past. Ordered my usual cuppacino single shot and chicago cheese cake. Ok that will be my lunch. I booked the sofa seat which is a 3 seater with my levis jeans and i kept a watch out from the cashier. First came 2 youngster rushing to the sofa hoping to get the comfy sofa seat but at the sight of my levis they walked away disappointed. Then came 2 old ladies tai tai walked with their hands full of stuff walking towards the sofa this time. They stopped there looking around hoping to find the owner of the levis jeans. Not good !! So i took my chicago cheese cake to place it on the table of the sofa seat then i moved off to get my cuppacino. The queue is quite long and i waited for some time before i get my drink. Already many people attempted to get my seat. Finally i sat down opposite to my levis jean. I felt a lot of eyes aiming at me. haha a 3 seater sofa booked by this loner drinking alone. Do you think i care! Didnt really enjoy my meal in silence. damnz wad am i doing ... dumped the last bit of my cake and i walked off to the car park. Wad a sucky day. Driving along the road is always a pleasure. So i went back to tidy my room, found the cds of my friend's. Bah so much trouble for the stupid CDs. when night fall, the rain didnt stopped at all. Worried she might get stuck in the rain I sms her if she need a lift. But shes afraid that i get lost so nvm. Aaah~ I NEED A GPS. Quite true, wouldnt want her to wait for me while i try to find the way. haha im so useless. A day just flew by like this sigh ...